Turn down for what!?
“Everyone tells me I’ve changed, but the truth is, I’ve just stopped living life their way”
So you are beginning to get noticed for all of your hard work, effort and achievements. People are starting to look at you differently. Firstly I would like to say well done! By setting yourself those high standards, by committing to your ‘audacious goals’, and taking small consistent, concentrated steps toward them, the vision in your head is slowly becoming more and more clear to the onlookers. That faint picture they could see from your verbal description is now taking shape and coming into focus, and with that brings forth a whole load of mixed feelings in other people. Some will be genuinely happy for you and begin to get excited on your behalf, some may distance themselves from you, and some will try to jump on your wave claiming they were there from day one!
Anyway, today we will focus on the people who seem to become more and more uncomfortable as your success increases. You might have been promoted, got married, graduated, whatever. And for no apparent reason they seem to have a problem with you; the way you said something, or the way you have done ‘this’ or ‘that’, or another seemingly inane complaint. All we know is that when we were on the same level it was all fun and games, but now the landscape has adjusted slightly there are suddenly ‘issues’ that have arisen. You see, what usually happens is that someone else’s success can make people focus on what they haven’t achieved within their own life, and even more so when the person is close to them. This can quickly breed jealousy and envy which results in several different negative behaviours such as withdrawal and negative feedback, and instead of them addressing their own issues they find it easier to shed light on the ones made up about you.
In these situations you must:
1. Never dim your own light to cater for other people’s insecurities! That’s pure insanity. Once you do, they may feel a bit better about themselves but you will end up feeling absolutely terrible.
2. Accept that this person is suffering from jealousy which is something that only THEY can change. However be sensitive and supportive where you can as the person may be someone you are close to and care about.
3. Work even harder! The fact that there is an energy shift going on indicates that whatever you are doing is working! KEEP GOING!
4. Celebrate your own achievements and success without looking for external validation; sometimes people are genuinely too wrapped in their own lives to acknowledge your successes.
5. Read Marianne Williamson’s poem from which I have extracted this great quote, “As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence actually liberates others.”
Wayne Jordon is a qualified teacher, radio host, life coach, motivational speaker and founder of M.A.D workshops. He may be able to advise you with any queries regarding your goals and aspirations. Contact him on firstname.lastname@example.org or tweet @waynejordon1. Catch up on all of Wayne’s previous articles at waynejordon.com