Pride’s new Agony Aunt Paisley Billings is here to dole out some bare-faced truths and advice to the confused, irritated and heartbroken. Today, she offers advice to Michelle, who’s having trouble deciding between a big job opportunity and a budding relationship.
The big problem
“I am a 28-year-old fashion marketing consultant who, up until recently, had been single for around four years. However, I started dating this new guy about six months ago and things are going really well – we see each other all the time and it feels really natural and right. My problem is that I have just received a job offer from a fashion consultancy in Paris, which would offer me better pay and better career opportunities – but he would not be able to come with me.
“It seems like a no brainer, but honestly, when you reach this age and you find someone you like, you want to cling on to them. If I go to Paris, I won’t have time to find anyone for a while as I will have to get used to the city and people I work with etc… but I’m so tired of feeling lonely. It sounds so cliché but I don’t know whether to follow my head or my heart. We’re not ready to try something like a long-distance relationship, and my job right now is just fine – but going to Paris would be so incredible. I’m so stuck. Please help!
“Love,
Michelle.”
Paisley’s advice
First of all, congratulations on the new job offer. This is tricky because as you said, it’s about working out whether you want to follow your heart or your head. What you really have to ask yourself is what will bring you the most happiness. You’ve gotten to this point in your career through a lot of hard work and dedication. Relationships also take a lot of hard work and dedication. Personally, I don’t think six months is a long enough time to put everything you’ve worked so hard for on the back burner. People often say that when you know, you know. I feel like if you really thought this guy was the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you wouldn’t be debating whether to go or not.
You were single for four years and you survived, right? Going to Paris could be the best thing for you. Remember Paris is the city of love and romance. In this case it’s also the city of new opportunities and better pay. If you don’t go you may end up resenting your relationship for holding you back. Please don’t think being 28 means that you have to settle down now. Everyone’s life timeline is different and you have so much life ahead of you.
Being in a new environment with new people can be so freeing and it can really teach you a lot about yourself. Your job right now is, as you said, ‘just fine’. Don’t settle for ‘fine’ – you are worth so much more than that. Don’t worry about having time to find someone. The right person will come along when the time is right and you won’t have to compromise your career for a relationship. If the guy you’re dating at the moment has your best interests at heart, he will completely understand.
Sending love and light,
Paisley B.
Do you have a problem that only Paisley can help solve? Send in your problem to nicole@pridemagazine.com, or send Pride a Direct Message on Twitter – Paisley might just be helping you out next!
