Ne-Yo slipped easily into the mode of singer/ songwriter extraordinaire but has he found it easy to slip into his latest role as Daddy? Pride’s Mary Bello finds out.
“Look at you and all your tall dark loveliness.” Is one of the first things Ne-Yo utters as I step into the all white, minimalist room at the Sanderson Hotel. He may be pitched as The Gentleman, but he is definitely a flirt. He’s rocking his trademark trilby and a pair of dark glasses that I will him to take off (he doesn’t.) Exuding a heavy dose of laid-back essence, Ne-Yo (or Shaffer Chimere Smith to his nearest and dearest), is somewhat an oxymoron when you reference his lifestyle and nature against his music. Song-wise it’s all throbbing beats, dramatic music videos and killer dance moves. In actuality he is a very chilled guy who enjoys a quiet life as a family man.
That’s not to say there hasn’t been any drama. He’s faced a DUI, the discovery that a child he thought was his wasn’t and unsubstantiated rumours about his sexuality but he is one of the calmer artists out there. He doesn’t seek out headlines to boost album sales. Ne-Yo points out that “look at me” singers can be annoying as far as his business is concerned because, “The guy who sets himself on fire will get a lot of attention. I’m not prepared to do those things and sometimes I won’t get the same level of attention but I make music because I love it. I want to be respected as an artist.”
Away from the melody amour, Ne-Yo has bigger loves. The singer has settled down with girlfriend Monyetta Shaw and the couple have two children, Madilyn Grace 18 months and Mason 10 months. So how is his life now that he has swapped popping bottles of Cris for prising the lid off of SMA tubs..?
Fatherhood is all about Finding the balance
“I’m a Libra and we are all about equilibrium. I can’t be all about my kids all the time and just sit at home- they need to eat, so daddy has to go out to work! But at the same time I have to enjoy life. It can’t be all, ‘Work hard, be with the kids. Work hard, be with the kids.’ So yes, I still have a life I go out, have a good time on occasion. It’s less of a champagne life than it once was but I still get the fun in there.”
When I found out I was gonna become a dad…
“I was ready. I had found a woman with whom I thought, ‘If this is who I have to spend my entire life with I’m cool with it.’ And now that I have my two kids I’m done! I’m good- I got my girl and my boy first try- I don’t need anymore. I’m glad I had my girl first because she was much less chilled than my son as a newborn. Once we had Maddy- she cried a lot- we knew that we could handle anything!”
Becoming a father vs. Scoring a hit record
“The two cannot compete or be equated. Scoring a hit record or winning an award for what I do does not compare to how I felt when I became a dad. My children are the air I breathe. I was there for the birth of both of my children and the second they were born, that was it. I saw them and felt a level of overprotection that you could not believe. I wanted to punch the doctor and say, ‘Don’t touch them!’ Before then I had never experienced that feeling. I knew what it was like to love a woman and I knew what it was like to love my craft but the love for your child is so different. And it made me start to think about fathers that don’t want to claim their kids or who leave their children. I don’t get it. How does that make sense? That’s just madness.”
My kids have such character…
“Maddy is her mother. She loves to bring the drama- always loud and zooming around, trying to get into everything! She is the princess, runs things and she knows it. I always told myself that I wouldn’t be that dad who was wrapped around his little girl’s finger, where she would give me the look and I’d cave in but I am 100% that person. It’s in our DNA as fathers to want to give our daughters the world when they give us that look! My son is 10 months old now and I would say that he is definitely just like me. He is very mellow and chilled. The only time that you’ll hear from Mason is if he is hungry or he needs his diaper changed. They are too young to understand what I do but they have seen me on TV. I performed on a kids show called The Fresh Beat Band, Maddy loved that! She needs to watch that at least once a day.”
Chimere & Me
“In 2005 my girlfriend at the time gave birth to a little boy, Chimere. It turned out that he wasn’t mine. I think about him but I don’t see him anymore and I haven’t since the trial we went through about the whole matter. I pray that he is OK. It was a difficult situation for all of us but everything happens for a reason. I haven’t found out what the reason for that is yet but I’m sure one day I will.”
The wisdom I wish to impart
“I want my daughter to embrace being a lady. God made you a woman, your DNA, makes you a woman but being a lady is a choice. A lady is someone who carries herself well, commands respect. Someone who is graceful and wants to succeed in life and won’t rely on a man to do that. I need my son to understand the difference between a woman and a lady and to understand the value of being a gentleman, treating a woman with respect, being polite and understanding that there is not much in life worth raising your voice over. It’s important for parents to want their children to have strength of character. They should know who they are, value themselves and not let other people’s opinions of them matter too much. You have to be OK with yourself and realise that individuality is a blessing. People are always wanting to chase something. They want to be taller or prettier but to hell with that! God made you how he made you for a reason and your job is to embrace that and work with that.”
