Pride’s new Agony Aunt Paisley Billings is here to dole out some bare-faced truths and advice to the confused, irritated and heartbroken. This month, she offers a listening ear to 19-year-old Kaya, who is off to university soon and unsure of whether to cut off her relationship before leaving.
The big problem
Hi Paisley,
My girlfriend and I have been together for about two years, but we’ve always had our ups and downs – me feeling unappreciated, and her actions making me feel worse about myself. Whenever we used to speak about it nothing would change. However, now that college is over, she seems to be making more time for me and our relationship seems to be progressing to where I’ve wanted.
The problem is that even though we will both be in the same city for uni (different universities) I feel like this is the natural time to break up. I’m not sure whether to give it a shot or to just let it go. Even though we have been through a lot, I still love her and I want her to be happy. She wants to stay together, but I’m still unsure.
My main concerns are that when she starts uni, she won’t have time for me anymore and we will be back at square one, but because things are changing I do see hope. Also, I don’t really want to be held back from meeting new people or pursuing potential love interests. What would your advice be?
Best,
Kaya
Paisley’s advice
Hi Kaya,
All relationships have their ups and downs. Going through rough patches can be hard but it sounds like you’ve handled those situations well by communicating with your partner how you feel. Understandably it can be quite disheartening opening up and discussing things that are upsetting you only to be made to feel worse or not see a change in the things upsetting you. It sounds like she prioritised her education, if her behaviour towards you has changed since finishing college.
I’ll be honest with you – I’m struggling to find the problem here. If you feel like this is the natural time for you to end things and that’s what you want for yourself, well, then you need to have a conversation with her. Thoroughly explain how you feel; not all break ups have to end in tears. You two could be better off as friends. If I were in your shoes, I would end the relationship amicably and skip off to uni, ready to live my best life.
I think you have every right to be concerned about her not having time for you, as she’s done this to you in the past. Like you said – you don’t want to be held back from meeting new people or pursuing potential love interests. Sounds like you know what you want and your mind’s made up. You still love her and you want her to be happy, but you need to be happy too.
Sending love and light,
Paisley B
Do you have a problem that only Paisley can help solve? Send in your problem to nicole@pridemagazine.com, or send Pride a Direct Message on Twitter – Paisley might just be helping you out next!
