Being an independent woman is great – even Destiny’s Child told us so, all those years ago. However, reader Carla* is so used to being on her own that she’s suddenly scared herself into thinking she’ll be alone forever… and that’s something she doesn’t want! She asks Paisley for advice on being a solo rider, looking for love…
The big problem
Hi Paisley,
Hope you’re well. My issue is one that I’m pretty embarrassed about, even though I know I shouldn’t be – I’m 29, single, and I desperately wish I wasn’t. I’m a pretty independent person, and I have been ever since I was a child – and for that, I’m proud. I think it’s a strength to be able to survive on your own, and find comfort in your own company. However, this has ended up with me being totally oblivious to the fact that most people actually do actively pursue finding someone to spend their time with – and it’s all catching up with me now!
I do eventually want to have someone in my life, and I’ve always just assumed that it’ll happen, but apart from a couple of months of dating here and there, I’ve never had a proper relationship, and now I fear it’s getting to be too late. I’ve been on the dating apps, and I keep having what I feel are great first dates… but nothing ever progresses. I’m starting to believe that I really will be alone forever, and it’s turning my independent streak, which what I usually see as a positive, into something that feels like a burden. Any advice for getting into the dating game? Or should I continue to live my life, and accept that I may just be living solo for good?
Love,
Carla.
Paisley’s advice
Babes, first of all, please don’t be embarrassed. Being 29 and single isn’t something you should be ashamed of. You being a strong independent woman is great, and there’s nothing wrong with that at all – it’s a very attractive attribute. I think you’ve had the right approach to love in thinking when the time is right, it’ll happen. When it comes to dating and meeting someone, apps are good but it’s also good to get out there and meet people in real life. I think it would be good for you to throw yourself into hobbies and spend time doing stuff you love as you might just find someone who’s perfect for you with a common interest. What you’re looking for might just be right under your nose – have a think about people you may have disregarded in the past. People change; they glow up and grow up.
I also think you should go a bit easier on yourself – everyone’s timeline is different. Just because you’ve been single for a while doesn’t mean you’ll be alone forever. Accept that you’re living solo right now but it probably won’t be forever, so enjoy it while it lasts!
Sending love & light,
Paisley B Xxx
*name changed
