Star of E4’s hit show The Sex Clinic Sarah Mulindwa speaks to Pride about the truth of her job, dispelling common myths, and answers your dilemmas
What do you picture if you had to think of a sexual health nurse? Chances are, it won’t be someone as fabulous as Sarah Mulindwa, the glamorous advisor and practitioner you may recognise from E4’s The Sex Clinic.
Sarah has helped plenty of people with their sex-related worries and fears on and off-screen, as well as having a career in styling and presenting. Recently, she also opened up about her experiences with Premenstrual Dysmorphic Disorder (PMD), a condition that causes severe irritability, depression, or anxiety in the week or two before your period starts – and hopes to share it with others suffering.
As she prepares to film series two of the entertaining docu-series, Sarah spoke to Pride about her career and common myths of the job…
What influenced you to become a sexual health nurse?
I was around 24 or 25 years old and had done five years as a nurse on a hospital ward, and honestly, I was exhausted. I was young, working crazy hours and though I loved the hustle and bustle, government cuts meant that we were constantly short-staffed, and my back was hurting. I needed something more light-hearted!
When you first became a sexual health nurse, what were some of the reactions from family and friends?
My mum’s a nurse as well so she knows it’s a medical thing. Everyone is always intrigued and asks to tell my craziest story – but after eight years what may faze someone else is quite normal to me. When The Sex Clinic came out, it was normal to me but everyone else was like this is crazy. It’s a show to get young people talking about sex and relationships, which is normal. People are more sexual – and every four minutes we’re diagnosing an STI across the country. There is a clear need for a show like this.
What are some of the challenges you’ve faced as a sexual health nurse?
As a nurse, I think sometimes you see so many people a day and feel you can only do so much. People come in with very complex issues with relationships, but it isn’t my job to tell people how to live their lives; it’s to educate them and give them the right tools they need to make informed decisions about their sexual health. But as a human being, you feel like you want to do more. Also, as a black nurse there are hurdles like in any other industry – like if a patient will say they don’t want a black nurse. You make peace with the fact that some people are small-minded, and it’s not a reflection of who you are and where you come from.
A lot of people find visiting the sexual health clinic embarrassing and often push it aside; why do you think this is?
There’s a misconception that if you visit a sexual health clinic, it must mean you’re sleeping around so people don’t want to be seen there and bump into anyone they know. We all go to the GP and the dentist and it’s fine but anything to do with sex still has that bit of shame attached to it. The millennial generation are a lot more open though, and that’s the whole purpose of The Sex Clinic because we’re all at it – we all got here because two people had sex! It’s as normal as breathing.
What are the most sexual health common myths you come across?
That you can’t get pregnant from pre-cum – which, you can; using the withdrawal method as a form of contraception; that you can get a STI from sitting on a toilet seat… it’s not possible! People come in worried about HIV because they’ve shared a cup – nothing to worry about there. I’m passionate about educating people; knowing about sexual health are the things we need to break down stigmas.
You’ve publicly opened up about your battle with PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder) – why was this important for you?
I came across an article about PMDD on Instagram and I had a light bulb moment – that was what I was going through! I wasn’t going crazy; it was my hormones. Once I made that connection, it was easier for me to seek help and get on the right contraception, which helped to get my symptoms under control. Compared to other women, mine is nowhere near aggressive, which made me feel a sense of social responsibility. As an influencer, you just never know how far your words can reach.
What can we expect from series two of The Sex Clinic?
We will be talking more about the affect of body dysmorphia on both men and women; exploring relationship issues and how it can affect mental health, and more contraception awareness. Expect more crazy, fun stories and also the real life issues that affect us all.
A Sexpert’s Advice…
As we get into summer, and people start to feel more *frisky*, we’ve asked Sarah to chime in to help with some of our readers’ sex-related woes…
My boyfriend won’t get tested!
I’ve been with my boyfriend for nearly two years, and we have a great relationship. I trust him, but we’ve never been tested since we’ve been together, and I think we should – just to check that we’re both okay. He thinks that it’s some sort of trap, and if there was anything ‘wrong’ then we’d know by now. It’s not that I think he’s been unfaithful or anything, but I just want to know! How can I get him to see that this’ll be good for us both?
Across gender lines, men are really reluctant to go unless they absolutely have to – whereas us women know we have to get this done! I’d say: put it to him this way, its fine for him as a guy because they present STI symptoms early with pain when he urinates and discharge, but as a girl we can have Chlamydia for six month to a year with no symptoms which can have long term affect on our health and fertility. Talk to your boyfriend and say you read an article about women’s health and you’re concerned about your health and want to do a screening. Suggest doing it as a together because it’s nicer than being alone.
How to ‘get out there’
I’ve recently come out of a four-year relationship; one that lasted the whole of my time at university. Now that I’m single and I’ve had a moment to breathe, I feel ready to explore – but I don’t know how to get myself out there! My ex has been the only person I’ve slept with, and he was often a bit rushed and not considerate of my needs. Any advice on how to get myself ‘out there’ and get some more experience on my sex CV?
If you’ve just come out of a long-term relationship, go have a check-up, make sure everything is fine so you can close the door on the last relationship. Start to go out with your single friends, get the girls together and do different excursions there’s always things to do. Now we’re in summer, it’s the perfect time to be sociable. Find out what your interests are, go to different groups and meet different people. Get your social calendar busy, regain your confidence and get comfortable talking to guys. Also don’t be afraid to make the first move! Have fun and don’t let anyone put you under pressure.
Series two of The Sex Clinic will be coming to E4 soon; in the meantime, check out series one on All 4.
